When last I recounted the kitchen saga of the nightmarish Them, I left my listeners hanging at a crucial moment in the story. They had seemed to triumph, and my roommates and I seemed doomed to eternal impotent struggle against Them, hanging all of our hopes for a free kitchen upon the newly-discovered Weapons of Mass Destruction, or something along those lines. I now rejoice to conclude my tale with the tables turned. After weeks of battle by means of various traps, repellents, and poisons, and two very thorough spring cleanings of the kitchen, we seem to have triumphed at last. As for Them their woe seems permanent. This most recent spring cleaning accomplished just today revealed only a few dead and none whatsoever living in any nook or crevice of the kitchen. Freedom from the oppression at last! The kitchen glows visibly and is most assuredly singing for joy, just in a tone inaudible to the human ear.
Of all the summer days thus far, today 12 July must have been both the muggiest and the hottest, a most suffocating combination. I was happy to stay inside in a moderately air-conditioned apartment and clean my kitchen. If this heat keeps up confining me indoors, my entire apartment will be spring cleaned three times over before school starts. With such warm weather brightening my windows, I can only sit reading so many chapters of The College Newspaper Designer's Handbook or watching so many episodes of Burn Notice, before I ache to be active.
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